Read it & Weap it

Let My Trail Tell You My Story

Let My Trail Tell You My Story

            “If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me.” D.L. Moody’s wise words spoke loudly and clearly to my heart when I first read them. It made me realize if I’m the person who I truly am, I won’t have anything to worry about. We’ve all heard the quote “your actions speak louder than your words.” As young people, we see influences and tend to follow crowds of what’s in and what’s out.  I never really cared what people thought of me until the influence was I, and the one who was looking at me was my little nephew. I couldn’t bear the thought of my little nephew keeping his eyes on a bad influence such as myself. I was the rebel, the one people knew for having red eyes, the one that was going nowhere at all. I knew I had to change, so from they’re on out my point of view about everything shifted. When I was first introduced to college it was a new environment for me, There, I was a blank page, a clean slate, and I received the opportunity to become the guy I truly was. Let my trail tell you my story.   

            Growing up in my family I was always the one who was relaxed, neither the tough guy nor the rebel. In middle school I did have a temper and a nasty attitude towards anyone who I didn’t like or who I just got a vibe from. I dressed with baggy clothes and didn’t always receive the best grades either. I hung out with people who were athletic and even the ones who started doing drugs in middle school. The people who I hung out with in middle school did have an influence on me and I started slowly becoming just like them. Everything started in middle school, but the ball really got rolling once I got into high school.

            Once I got into high school, I hung around with the same type of people as my friends in middle school, but this time it was older people who got into even more trouble. I hung out with the people who were responsible for starting fights, selling things that were illegal, and having connections to getting any type of drug. People knew me for being one of those guys that always stood “posted” (staying in one spot) with “chink” (small) eyes. I would go to class late, but I always had a way to get around so I wouldn’t get in trouble.

Later in that year, my attitude started getting worse than what it already was and I started getting hooked on worse and worse things. I kept finding myself around influences that were just taking me down to lower levels that I would have never thought I would reach. Once, I was even told by one of my teachers that I would drop out of school. The teacher said, “As soon as you sit down on your chair, choose your seat. I know which students here are going to pass my class and which ones aren’t. I can even tell you already who will drop out by the end of this semester.” While looking at me, she said I would be the one who wouldn’t make it by the end of the semester. Hearing someone like that quickly judge me by my appearance frustrated me and I told the teacher that she was stupid because she knew nothing about me or anyone else in that class. As we continued to go back and forth she sent me to go talk to my counselor and I told him exactly what happened. My counselor understood my reaction, and told me not to let it happen again and sent me to go sit in the cafeteria for the remainder of the class.

            All through my first three years of high school I went through so many battles and challenges. I knew I had to overcome them one way or another to prove everyone wrong. It wasn’t until my junior year after hanging out with my friends that my change happened. I was about to get home with glossy, low eyes. Instead of going home and having my mom see me like that I decided to go to the back of the house where my sister lived so I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out my condition. My little nephew was there and he told me to sit down and play some video games with him, so I did. That day, my little nephew felt that I was there, but my presence wasn’t. He looked at me and asked “Uncle Jerry, what is wrong with you? You’re not who you are. It’s like if you’re in some other world and you’ve changed a lot, how you talk and the things you tell me not to do, you start doing them. Why?” Hearing my little nephew tell me that hit me right in the heart. I couldn’t help but go home and lock myself in my room and let rivers come down from my eyes. After that, I knew I had to change a lot about myself and be a better influence on my little nephew.

            I started to watch everything I did, watch the people that I hung out with, and I started to open my heart and pay attention more at church. Ever since then, I felt emptiness in my heart like something was missing. I called one of the assistant pastors from my church to come and talk to me because I needed some advice. Once I told him everything that I felt he gave me great advice. Right before he left he asked me, “Jerry, do you know where you are going to spend eternity? ”I honestly didn’t know. That night, I accepted Jesus as my personal savior and assured myself that I would be going to heaven when I die. Ever since that day, I felt like all the changes I needed to make just started becoming easier for me. I started watching the things I said, I had more patience, and I didn’t have a short temper. I learned to become more responsible and get my work done on time, I also learned not to procrastinate on my schoolwork, to be responsible for my own things and not depend on others I also learned to let everything go that was not benefiting me health-wise. Little by little, I started noticing the impact that I was having on my little nephew. He started saying things like excuse me, yes sir, yes ma’am, and he knew that when his parents asked him to do something he had to do it. At the end, I proved that teacher wrong and I got my act together and graduated from high school.

            I started college the next semester at Long Beach City College in the fall. I knew I had a clean slate where people would not know who I used to be. The person who they would see before them would be the person who I truly am. I learned through my changes that the people who liked me as I was were my true friends and the people who liked me just because I had all the right connections and could help them get what they wanted. In college, I was the person that I wanted to be. I learned that people will accept you if you are the person you say you are and don’t constantly contradict yourself. Being your true self shows how you respect yourself and that has a big impact on people’s opinions. Change is something normal that all people do in life. Everyone in this world goes through change one way or another. Change doesn’t necessarily have to be dramatic; it can simply be when we go to a new school, new state, or when we even go in for a job interview. You have to learn how to be comfortable with yourself and most important be happy with who you are.

            What I’ve learned is “If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me.” Being true to yourself and accepting who you are, your walk or your character will speak for itself. In this case your slate will become what you want it to be. Life is about building on who you are going through certain experiences, learning from them and overall shaping yourself into the person you want to be.

Gender Roles & Toys

            Before babies are even born and are determined to be a boy or girl by an ultrasound, they are rapidly labeled by colors, where blue represents a boy and pink represents a girl. Automatically, parents already have placed an agenda on what their kids will wear, what sports they will play, and what toys will be approved for them. Advertising companies such as Nerf and Mattel continue to tell kids what roles they should take on in life and how they should act and behave. The media says boys have to compete, build things, and also that they should like weapons of all kinds, while girls are told they should know how to cook, look pretty, play with dolls and learn how to be nurturing. These ads can lead children to believe the messages about what the ad wants them to be. This takes away the creativity and alters the mindset to what that child might want to do one day in life. Although we might not see anything wrong with the ads such as Nerf or Mattel, they are promoting gender specific roles in their toy product, thus leaving out the other 50% of their market. These toy companies should concentrate on making toys that both genders may be able to use so that no one will feel left out or embarrassed to pick up any toy they want to play with.

In one Mattel toy ad for a new M-16 Marauder, it shows a young boy crouching with his Mattel machine gun with the sounds of the gun shooting, “BRAAP, BRRAAAP, BRAP, BRAP.” We see these ads by Mattel all the time, showing boys with their guns having a shoot out or making them believe that they have all this power when holding their gun. In these ads you will never see a girl either holding one of their guns or playing with the guys in the field. This Mattel ad is showing how boys are the ones who should hold guns and be able to go to the battlefield and how they don’t mind getting down and dirty. Although they portray males as the only ones to use guns, we see females in police departments and also in the armed forces. These ads should be changed because there are women who find themselves using these weapons and it’s not always males in weapon-related fields. Both of these companies should show more women in their ads and show that a woman can handle a gun just as well as a male. This will show that any person is good enough to go to the armed forces and will promote that anyone can join.

            Women in toy ads are shown as nurturing, fond of playing dress up, or just as a housewife. Mattel shows a young blonde girl in a pink ballerina outfit playing with a doll called Dancerina. This ad says, “Because girls dream about being a ballerina. Mattel makes Dancerina.” This ad says it loud and clear that all girl’s dreams are just to be ballerinas and nothing else. This shows how the marketing for Mattel is interested in getting young girls to think and believe that they should think about becoming a ballerina because they can dress and dance like the doll. This limits the mindset of a young child, in this case a young girl, limiting her mind to think that girls only want to be ballerinas. Even though there is nothing wrong with a ballerina, we can see that from a very young age girls are shown that ladies should wear pink, look beautiful, and that they should take ballet because it’s every girl’s dream. There are many male ballet dancers as well. Instead they should let girls decide if that is really their dream. Whether it is to become a professional athlete, a doctor, or even an architect, these companies should encourage girls to pursue careers in these areas as well.

            Another ad was about the building blocks of Legos. Legos are a universal building set, meaning that anyone can use, whether it is a boy or a girl. Traditionally, however, Legos were considered toys for boys. Recently, Legos came out with a new line of Legos called “Legos Friends,” where it’s a line meant for girls. Girls can build their own house, salon, or even their own Sunshine Ranch. Legos before used to have only male figures, such as Batman, Spiderman, and many other male characters and never implemented any female roles until now. This was a wise decision for Lego, but they are still showing how women are portrayed as a housewife and that they don’t do anything else but stay home. This line shows how woman only want to build girl things and not anything close to what a male would build with legos. Shari Roan from the Los Angeles Times writes in her article “A New Lego Line for Girls is Offensive, Critics Say,” that this Legos lines implies that being pretty is more important than who you are or what you can do (Paragraph 4). They should be able to make more Legos for girls, but go about showing how women can also be superheroes or play sports. The creators of Legos should make the toys so the boys and girls will feel free to pick up any block, model, or series that they have to offer.

            From the very birth whenever a baby comes to this world when it’s a boy, the baby automatically gets blue attire while the girls get pink. In her article, Laura Nelson said, “Gender-specific color-coding influences the activities children choose, the skills they build and ultimately the roles they take in society” (Par 6). Color-coding doesn’t help children decide what they want to be or do in life when they are being told exactly what they should do. We will never truly find out how kids could grow on their own if were constantly showing them what directions we want them to go towards. Toy ads should be gender-neutralized so anyone can pick a toy and not feel that it shouldn’t be in their hands or have the feeling that someone is judging them based on the color of the toy.

 

Works Cited

Bennhold, Katrin. "Toys Start the Gender Equality Rift." The New York Times. The New York Times, 30 July 2012. Web. 08 Apr. 2014.

Kanazawa, Satoshi. "The Scientific Fundamentalist." Why Do Boys and Girls Prefer Different Toys? The Scientific Fundamentalist, 17 Apr. 2008. Web. 1 Apr. 2014.

Orenstein, Peggy. "Should the World of Toys Be Gender-Free?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 29 Dec. 2011. Web. 07 Apr. 2014.

Roan, Shari. "A New Lego Line for Girls Is Offensive, Critics Say." Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles Times, 23 Jan. 2012. Web. 1 Apr. 2014

Meeting Your Potential Date

Meeting Your Potential Date

         Which is the better way to meet potential mates, in person or through online dating? We see so many websites that say many people meet there perfect match through their websites and that they are happy together. In my opinion it is better to meet someone through online dating for the fact that its easy to meet them, you get to see how they communicate with you through online, and you get to see the person, can feel a connection from the first hello, and you see how they act when they first meet you. This allows you to freely speak to many individuals and let you decide who best suits you and meet someone based on your decisions.

         There are many things we get from traditional dating like real time conversations. We get to hear the persons voice and hear their different tones that they have. We don’t have to be guessing or wondering how the person might feel or sound and we get to see the different faces the other person makes while talking. There’s less room for misinterpretations when we are having a real time conversation with another individual. You can also tell if the person is interested in you while they are speaking to you. You see if the person is making direct eye contact with you or if their eyes are wandering elsewhere.

        

         When it comes to finding a potential mate it can be quite difficult due to bust schedules or we can never just find the person anywhere. In article titled “Dating Stats You Should Know”, by Meredith Broussard, she stated that 44 percent of adult americans are single. Broussard also stated that “40 million Americans use online dating services; thats about 40 percent of our entire U.S. single-people pool.” Thats many people using online dating services and enough people for someone to meet a potential mate.

         When using any sort of online dating website there are so many advantages to it. You can choose from so many people and profiles that you think you may have personal connection with, or even if you just want to talk to someone based on looks. We can easily access online dating within the 24 hours of a day. Also some websites provide you with certain tools that can help you get easily connected with people of similar interest. You can view profiles and decided whether you think you can connect with that person or not.

         You can be introduced to someone through things in common based on the profile you build on a dating site. Also you can tell from the very beginning if you feel something between you and the other person based on what you see. In many dating sites like they have a spot for the person to write a little bit about themselves like a mini blog. There you can write things that give a brief description of themselves and your not limited to what you can say. This gives people a big advantage to see if they are interested in same thing as them if not they can skip them and move to the next profile.

         There is so much selectivity that one can make when finding a match on the internet and We can select the people we want to speak with in person. There can be instant connection from that very first message, or call based on exchange of phone numbers. There are many websites where you can create a profile wether its based on gender, race, or ethnicity. You can create a profile on christianmingle.com, blackpeoplemeet.com, and just regular match.com. You can practically meet anybody in you can think of on the internet. Another great thing about dating websites is that not everyone there is looking to find someone to be there perfect mate but rather looking for someone to be able to talk with. In an article by Jenna Worthman in the New York Times titled “Looking for a Date? A Site Suggests You Check the Data”, “I’m not into that. I don’t want the father of my children. I just want someone who can carry a conversation and is interesting.” We can see how finding someone on a dating websites can come in many forms such as just a good friend or the love of your life.

         When meeting the person from the dating website can be nerve racking because of all the hype build up from talking to them through emails, text messages, or even phone calls. Once the time comes there’s no hiding how old you look, how our physical appearance is, or hiding the small weird things we do. We can see how that person might act around us and might see something that attracts us to them or it can also be the complete opposite and we might find that person completely unattractive. After the date we can decide wether their was a connection or if we just move on to the next profile on our list.

         I have talked to a couple of my friends about how they feel about online dating getting interesting responses many of them said that they know someone or have actually met an old boyfriend or girlfriend through an online dating website. My friend Gerson told me that his wife’s sister actually met her husband through an online dating website. He told me that they just began by talking on through messages off the dating website, then text messages, and through phone calls. After a small amount time there conversations got so interesting that they actually decided to meet in person and hit it off.

         Another example of online dating actually helping someone meet a mate online is my sister. Little did I know my sister met her soon to be husband through an online dating website. I had asked her some questions like what does she think about online dating and she told me “I like it. That’s actually how I met Nelson.” Nelson is her fiancé.  Not knowing this earlier really showed me that my only family has grown because of online dating working.

         In conclusion we can see how in online dating has more advantages that old fashioned dating. It helps people with a very busy schedules that don't have enough time to go out and meet people and helps you find people with similar interest. Helps people to find someone based on similar beliefs and ethnicities. We’ve seen testimonials of people who have met their life partner because of dating websites. 

Works Cited

       Broussard, Meredith. "Dating Stats You Should Know." Numbers about Love That Make a Difference. Math.com, 2011. Web. 25 May 2014.

Lynch, William, and Demand Media. "Traditional Dating Vs Online Dating." Science. Opposing Views. Web. 20 May 2014.

Spira, Julie. "Online Dating Vs. Offline Dating: Pros and Cons." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 03 Oct. 2013. Web. 19 May 2014.

         Wortham, Jenna. "Looking for a Date? A Site Suggests You Check the Data." The New York Times. The New York Times, 12 Feb. 2010. Web. 24 May 2014.