Let My Trail Tell You My Story

Let My Trail Tell You My Story

            “If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me.” D.L. Moody’s wise words spoke loudly and clearly to my heart when I first read them. It made me realize if I’m the person who I truly am, I won’t have anything to worry about. We’ve all heard the quote “your actions speak louder than your words.” As young people, we see influences and tend to follow crowds of what’s in and what’s out.  I never really cared what people thought of me until the influence was I, and the one who was looking at me was my little nephew. I couldn’t bear the thought of my little nephew keeping his eyes on a bad influence such as myself. I was the rebel, the one people knew for having red eyes, the one that was going nowhere at all. I knew I had to change, so from they’re on out my point of view about everything shifted. When I was first introduced to college it was a new environment for me, There, I was a blank page, a clean slate, and I received the opportunity to become the guy I truly was. Let my trail tell you my story.   

            Growing up in my family I was always the one who was relaxed, neither the tough guy nor the rebel. In middle school I did have a temper and a nasty attitude towards anyone who I didn’t like or who I just got a vibe from. I dressed with baggy clothes and didn’t always receive the best grades either. I hung out with people who were athletic and even the ones who started doing drugs in middle school. The people who I hung out with in middle school did have an influence on me and I started slowly becoming just like them. Everything started in middle school, but the ball really got rolling once I got into high school.

            Once I got into high school, I hung around with the same type of people as my friends in middle school, but this time it was older people who got into even more trouble. I hung out with the people who were responsible for starting fights, selling things that were illegal, and having connections to getting any type of drug. People knew me for being one of those guys that always stood “posted” (staying in one spot) with “chink” (small) eyes. I would go to class late, but I always had a way to get around so I wouldn’t get in trouble.

Later in that year, my attitude started getting worse than what it already was and I started getting hooked on worse and worse things. I kept finding myself around influences that were just taking me down to lower levels that I would have never thought I would reach. Once, I was even told by one of my teachers that I would drop out of school. The teacher said, “As soon as you sit down on your chair, choose your seat. I know which students here are going to pass my class and which ones aren’t. I can even tell you already who will drop out by the end of this semester.” While looking at me, she said I would be the one who wouldn’t make it by the end of the semester. Hearing someone like that quickly judge me by my appearance frustrated me and I told the teacher that she was stupid because she knew nothing about me or anyone else in that class. As we continued to go back and forth she sent me to go talk to my counselor and I told him exactly what happened. My counselor understood my reaction, and told me not to let it happen again and sent me to go sit in the cafeteria for the remainder of the class.

            All through my first three years of high school I went through so many battles and challenges. I knew I had to overcome them one way or another to prove everyone wrong. It wasn’t until my junior year after hanging out with my friends that my change happened. I was about to get home with glossy, low eyes. Instead of going home and having my mom see me like that I decided to go to the back of the house where my sister lived so I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out my condition. My little nephew was there and he told me to sit down and play some video games with him, so I did. That day, my little nephew felt that I was there, but my presence wasn’t. He looked at me and asked “Uncle Jerry, what is wrong with you? You’re not who you are. It’s like if you’re in some other world and you’ve changed a lot, how you talk and the things you tell me not to do, you start doing them. Why?” Hearing my little nephew tell me that hit me right in the heart. I couldn’t help but go home and lock myself in my room and let rivers come down from my eyes. After that, I knew I had to change a lot about myself and be a better influence on my little nephew.

            I started to watch everything I did, watch the people that I hung out with, and I started to open my heart and pay attention more at church. Ever since then, I felt emptiness in my heart like something was missing. I called one of the assistant pastors from my church to come and talk to me because I needed some advice. Once I told him everything that I felt he gave me great advice. Right before he left he asked me, “Jerry, do you know where you are going to spend eternity? ”I honestly didn’t know. That night, I accepted Jesus as my personal savior and assured myself that I would be going to heaven when I die. Ever since that day, I felt like all the changes I needed to make just started becoming easier for me. I started watching the things I said, I had more patience, and I didn’t have a short temper. I learned to become more responsible and get my work done on time, I also learned not to procrastinate on my schoolwork, to be responsible for my own things and not depend on others I also learned to let everything go that was not benefiting me health-wise. Little by little, I started noticing the impact that I was having on my little nephew. He started saying things like excuse me, yes sir, yes ma’am, and he knew that when his parents asked him to do something he had to do it. At the end, I proved that teacher wrong and I got my act together and graduated from high school.

            I started college the next semester at Long Beach City College in the fall. I knew I had a clean slate where people would not know who I used to be. The person who they would see before them would be the person who I truly am. I learned through my changes that the people who liked me as I was were my true friends and the people who liked me just because I had all the right connections and could help them get what they wanted. In college, I was the person that I wanted to be. I learned that people will accept you if you are the person you say you are and don’t constantly contradict yourself. Being your true self shows how you respect yourself and that has a big impact on people’s opinions. Change is something normal that all people do in life. Everyone in this world goes through change one way or another. Change doesn’t necessarily have to be dramatic; it can simply be when we go to a new school, new state, or when we even go in for a job interview. You have to learn how to be comfortable with yourself and most important be happy with who you are.

            What I’ve learned is “If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me.” Being true to yourself and accepting who you are, your walk or your character will speak for itself. In this case your slate will become what you want it to be. Life is about building on who you are going through certain experiences, learning from them and overall shaping yourself into the person you want to be.